When a family experiences a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death it can have quite an impact on the existing children. They may be young, but their feelings can be deep. One may think they can’t handle talking about hard things, such as death, but it’s surprising how much they comprehend. They may not quite grieve the same as a parent or adult would. It’s still important to still acknowledge and talk about what happened. Death of a family member isn’t easy for anyone. We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We Had an Angel Instead is a wonderful resource for children, even parents, to help cope with the baby they lost.
I’ve mentioned before that the losses I endured came before the living children I’m raising now and when my oldest was barely a toddler. My husband and I could have kept the truth of their siblings to ourselves, but we personally didn’t want to keep the knowledge of their existence a secret. We decided early on that we’d share about all our babies and freely answer any questions our living children have. It has spurred some meaningful heartfelt conversations.
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What is We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We Had an Angel Instead About?
Some parents may not get the option to share or not as they may have living children already. It’s important to be open to talking with kids about the loss they’ve experienced as a sibling. It can be hard, but books like We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We Had an Angel Instead really help break the ice.
This book is good for anyone of all ages. After reading the story, I can see it being very helpful for younger children to comprehend in very simple terms what their family is going through. When I was a kid my parents experienced an early miscarriage and the sudden death of my brother at 3 days old. I remember grown-ups acting just like the ones depicted in this story. This can be very helpful to a living sibling(s) or child to know that the adults around them continuing to be sad longer than they are is okay. They may still experience bouts of grief, but it’s comforting to know that it’s okay if they aren’t sad as much as the grown-ups around them.
In the back of the book, there are lots of wonderful suggestions on how to help your children through grief. The author even shares things you can do as a family to remember the baby that passed away.
What My Kids Think of We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We Had An Angel Instead
My daughter tends to be the one who likes to review books with me. While we read this one together she was really drawn into the story and concerned with the family. When I asked her what her favorite picture was, she flipped the pages until she came to a picture of the older sibling listening to the baby in his mother’s tummy before the baby passed away.
As someone who has been an older sibling to babies who’ve passed away and a mother of babies in Heaven, I really appreciated the emotions expressed in the illustrations. They are very relatable to my memories and what I’ve experienced personally.
Where Can I Find a Copy of the book?
We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We Had An Angel Instead is available on Amazon as a paperback. You can also find the book on the author’s website at www.griefwatch.com. I must say, the creators of Grief Watch have really thought of everything. Their website is FULL of resources and books they’ve created for nearly every angle of loss.
Other Sibling Loss Books I recommend:
